Bottomless Empathy

It is my firm belief that people, oftentime in spite of themselves, have a near limitless capacity for empathy. Pattern seeking, connection building, and seeing oneself in the face of another is a distinctly human characteristic unique to our species. We possess a biological need to create emotional tethers between individuals and it is for that reason, among a handful of equally weighted and baked-in human traits, we’re the most successful species on the planet. When building your brand and, in the context of this post, developing the messaging around it, it is vital that you reach into your reservoir of empathy and harness it.

Connecting with people — meeting them where they are and then inviting them to join your journey — is key in building your audience. Not only is it one of those ‘best practices: life on earth edition’ kinds of things, it should be foundational in how you build your brand and what it shouts through the megaphone that is the Internet. As fundamental and almost banal as that point might seem (your eyes do not deceive, it is both a fundamental and banal point), it is one of the hardest concepts for my clients to bring into the real world. Worse, it elicits dread among my clients.

A thick and swirling fog of doubt brings into question heretofore secure notions of authenticity. They set hooks into the psyche, extending that uncertainty into a sickening unease about one’s very character. Imposter syndrome has been set loose in the mind and mistrust in one’s very being is that insidious fiend which opened the gate.

Sure, a bit hyperbolic and a scene more akin to The Conjuring series, but the understanding that one must connect with their audience combined with a seeming inability to do so can feel crippling. This is where that reservoir of empathy comes in. The best part: everyone has one and gaining access to it is as easy as reflecting on your past and placing yourself in the mind in that of another. 99 out of 100 times, your lived experience and the lived experience of your audience aren’t so dissimilar and the bridge you need to build to generate a meaningful relationship with them isn’t as long or as rickety as you might think.

You started this company because you saw something missing in the market or, at least, a place for you to nestle in and improve a niche. Explore that. The people who’ll be attracted to what you have on offer likely have also been left wanting and have hoped for a market upgrade.

“I started Upswing because there were no services or coaches available that could help transition squash players into tennis players. Since squash is much less popular and accessible than tennis is, there was a whole community (myself included) of people who loved the idea of tennis but whose skills couldn’t translate court-to-court. It’s a problem that left a lot of people on the sidelines and I knew we needed a change.”

You know, that sort of thing. Dive deep. Decide on how vulnerable you want to get and then go just a bit further. Be honest and describe the road you took to get here. If the path was one full of booby traps and challenges, don’t whine, but rather explain cooly that this hasn’t been easy and it’s a long time-a-comin’. Chances are on account of, well, what it’s like to be a person, some of your audience will see their journey in yours.

Also, for any tennis pros out there, the above business idea is a freebie. Me to you. Chef’s kiss.